Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
