He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
And then he peed in my hair
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