Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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