i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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