Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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