Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize