What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
