ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
