was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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