If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
