Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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