The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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