You're my little dorito
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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