I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
