i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize