Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
