My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
