Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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