So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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