Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
