We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
