It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
