I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize