they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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