its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
