TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
