you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
