Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think my moral compass just broke
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