I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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