we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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