Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
