So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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