Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
