I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
