giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
