Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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