considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
only you would photoshop your dick
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dignity is for republicans.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
