you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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