You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
