I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
