I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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