what day is it and did you see me today?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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