So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
