Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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