I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
this hospital has no fireball
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
