In the future we'll all be gay
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
