We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
