Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
