hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
