it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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