so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
