so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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