i just google imaged poop.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
