never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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