I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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