youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
