Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize