talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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