Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
