I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
