My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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