Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the day after is always just damage control
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
