Define "chronic" masturbator.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
