So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
