This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
